Parenting an adult is freaking hard

No one thinks parenting is easy. Rewarding, yes. Easy, no. We start out with our tiny little newborns. They are somewhat fragile and completely foreign to us. They eat, sleep, and poop in no particular order and on no particular schedule. Not too bad, but exhausting for sure.

Then you move into baby phase. Like a newborn only they are starting to have opinions, sometimes very loudly. They cry when they are hungry, when they are tired, when their diaper is wet, etc. They need food at certain times or else. They need naps at certain times, or else. Eventually you get into a rythm and it is fine. Exhausting, but fine.

You just start to get comfortable with the baby phase and the toddler phase steps in. Terrible twos, terrorist threes. This is the time of potty training and rule setting. You have moments of adorable, hilarious and then warzones. These little beings are really starting to have opinions now. They are learning how to push buttons, dance on boundary lines, and yet they still have the adorable loviness of the baby phase at times. You are still exhausted.

Suddenly they are kids. They have full personalities, questions, insight, etc. They are learning to play soccer, or dance or gymnastics. They are in school, making friends, becoming social. They are testing boundaries still but have most likely learned to stay within limits. When I look back on my own child at this time in life, there is nothing particularly stand out about the memories. We had fun, we were busy, we were exhausted, but these were the easiest of the days.

And you ride on into the tween/teen phase. Now, depending on the kid, this can be amazingly great or amazingly scary. Your little human is learning to become more of an individual person, with likes and dislikes of their own. They are probably moody, a lot. Maybe they are rebellious. A little or a lot. They are learning to drive, wear makeup, get their first job, and survive school and a sometimes intimidating social scene. I think for many parents up to this point, this is the hard phase. This is the phase where you are teaching your kids to one day be an adult.

Well, I've got news for you if you didn't already know. Parenting the young adult is by far the most difficult phase yet. Why, you might ask? Because this is the phase when you really have no control over the choices they make. This is the point where you just have to love and support unconditionally and trust that they make the right decisions or they make the decisions that they will learn from. If you thought stages one through four were exhausting, welcome to being an empty nester. Good heavens, strap in for a ride.

My daughter made a very big decision in the last couple days. It was and will continue to be a bit of an emotional roller coaster. I know she is making the right decision for her in the moment, but when you see the struggle, the tears, the anguish and all you can do is hug them and love them and provide support, it is very hard. You aren't at the point where you can put on a bandaid or make them a cup of soup and kiss it better. You just have to watch them go and try and fly on their own.

Parenting is freaking hard, y'all. Rewarding as heck, but wow, it is hard.